i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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