I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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