I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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