Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize