So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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