i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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