Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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