OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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