Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize