I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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