How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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