Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize