Say something about gay babies.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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