The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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