he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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