Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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