I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize