I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am available for nakedness
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize