no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize