Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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