you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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