Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize