I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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