I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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