I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize