ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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