You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize