He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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