i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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