Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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