Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize