Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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