I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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