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I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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