Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.

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(205): I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs. http://tfl.nu/uuhy

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(510): View more from California

I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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(510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4

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(951): View more from California

I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.

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(951): I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/5gti

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(303): View more from Colorado

New channing tatum movie.

(858): View more from California

I'll bring my vibrator.

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(303): New channing tatum movie. (858): I'll bring my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/ing8

Replies (26) Good night (6252) Bad night (1108)
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(425): View more from Washington

im bored tell me something entertaining

(206): View more from Washington

You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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(425): im bored tell me something entertaining (206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam. http://tfl.nu/m0ao

Replies (48) Good night (1450) Bad night (9612)
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(256): View more from Alabama

my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

(1-256): View more from Alabama

whatd she say to you?

(256): View more from Alabama

no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

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(256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u

Replies (60) Good night (1875) Bad night (8194)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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(612): I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk http://tfl.nu/r6qp

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(307): View more from Wyoming

He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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(307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk

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(360): View more from Washington

Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...

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(360): Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told... http://tfl.nu/tfwr

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(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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(641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after

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(505): Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after http://tfl.nu/uja5

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party

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(580): the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party http://tfl.nu/1oc7

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(541): View more from Oregon

I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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(541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0

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(206): View more from Washington

He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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(206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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(910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev

Replies (16) Good night (1407) Bad night (682)

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