she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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