Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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