textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
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I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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