I want to have your abortion
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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