The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I know her cup size but not her name....
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