so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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