I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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