I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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