i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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