She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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