hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize