getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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