when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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