idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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