Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize