it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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